Sunday, July 26, 2015

My Eyes Are Broken

Apparently, my left eye is broken. 
I went to the eye doctor yesterday because my prescription has been off since I got it three weeks ago. I close my left eye and my right one seems ok, but when I close my right eye, my left eye is all blurry. I look like a little old woman, because I keep tilting my head back to see through the bottom of my lenses...but I don't have bifocals. I'm not sure exactly what's going on, but clearly (pun intended) something had to change.

I'm pretty used to having eye issues. I've had glasses since I was in the fourth grade and I couldn't read the board (sound familiar to you lifelong nearsighted people?) This was the eighties, so my glasses were big. My brothers used to lick their fingers and stick them on my glasses. This, by the way, is super gross. Don't do it.
When I go in for an eye appointment, I dread it the whole time because I'm pretty sure I'm going to mess it up. That will only make sense to you if you stress out over this like I do. But I went in for a follow-up anyway because glasses aren't cheap, and I'd really like to be able to see through them. This is how it went:
He said, "So what's the trouble with your new prescription?"
I said, "My left eye vision is blurry, and I feel like I have to look through the bottom half of my lenses to see clearly."
He said, "Oh, I hear that a lot from people with strong prescriptions. There's not much we can do about it."
Sheesh, am I paying for this service?
As soon as I sit down behind those creepy lens-changer thingies, I immediately feel like I'm in a staring contest. I blink and blink, and my eyes water. Then they're completely dry. He clicks through the lenses - one better? or two? Three or four better? - and I totally stress out and blink compulsively, trying to keep up. Please tell me this happens to you. It would make me feel better.
He told me to read the lowest line I could with my right eye. I read the fourth line (there were five)
Then he told me to read the lowest line I could with my left eye. I read the second line. Ummm, that's a problem, right?
He went through the whole mess - one or two? seven or eight? - and I freaked out the whole time. I couldn't trust my own judgment! I already messed this up once! My stress levels shot through the roof and I spent the whole time blinking.
Finally, at the end of all of that, he said, "Well, it looks like your right eye can just read more letters than your left eye, no matter what." 
Ummmm.....Yeah. That's why I'm here. "Isn't that why we need  prescriptions? Because eyes see differently?" I asked, being brave, but sounding incredibly stupid. He didn't answer.
"Well," I tried again," Isn't there some prescription that will help my left eye see as well as my right? Or did I run out of prescriptions?" I laughed, hoping that wasn't possible.
He looked at me and said, "Don't you write better with one hand than the other?"
I wanted to say, "Do you make prescriptions for handwriting?" but I didn't. I just said, "I mean, with the prescription. Shouldn't my left eye be able to see well with the prescription?" 
And then he said - and here it is - "I can't answer that question. I'm not exactly sure what the question is."
What? I'm sorry, did you just say that you can't tell me what's wrong with my eyes? Isn't that kind of your job? Teachers, did you know you could do that? You can say, "Yeah, I don't know what that question means, know, I'm just not going to answer it. Peace out."Wow, that's going to save me a lot of time!
So apparently, my left eye is broken, unfixable, and nothing anyone can do will fix it. My friend suggested that I put on a black eyepatch and just call it a day. Fortunately, I found a site that sells designer eye patches, so...there's that.
Oh, and can anyone recommend a new optometrist? 
At least I like my new frames. 
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Thursday, July 23, 2015

Best Advice Ever, according to my mother

My mother is a tough woman. I mean, don't get me wrong. She'll make you whatever you want for your birthday dinner, and water your planets when you're out of town (if you ask nicely). But she is no-nonsense, of the best sort.

With her, there is no such thing as a good excuse. And that's where I learned my best advice ever.
Get ready. It's a big one.

You always have time for the thing you do first.

That might sound pretty ridiculous, and pretty obvious, too, and when you're a 14-year-old kid who just wants to hide in the bathroom and read all day instead of completing your mandatory chore list before your mom comes home, you can't even listen to it seriously. She says, "You always have time for the things you do first!" and you hear, "Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah," like Charlie Brown's teacher.

But as I got older, and my time management became my responsibility and mine alone, I thought,
"Hmmm...maybe there's something to that."

I started scheduling my day starting with the most important and essential tasks. I went to sleep thinking about what I was going to do first the next day, and when I woke up, I was ready to get started! I had the right mental attitude, and what's more, I had enough time to do the thing I was supposed to do!

People, it's true. And it works!

It works at home:
You do the chore you are least excited about but must be done. You save the Seinfeld-watching until later (let's just assume this is the best-case scenario).

It works at school:
You teach the subject you are least excited about first! You know you'll get to writing (if you love writing) and you know you'll get to science (if you love science), but if you really don't love math, consider putting it first.

You do not enjoy grading the kids' notebook entries, so instead of putting it off, you do it as soon as they go to PE. You know, first! First in your conference period!

What?! And after you do it, you're done! With that horrible task you didn't want to do! And you have the rest of your conference period to do whatever else you need to do! (I'm pretending the world is perfect, and you don't have 900 meetings during your conference period.) And you don't have to take them home!
So the next time you see your day stretching before you, and you think of those tasks you really don't want to do, and the remote calls to you, saying, "Seinfeld is on Hulu!" just say, "I'll get to you later! You always have time for the things you do first!"
I know it's pretty duh advice, but really, if you try it, you might feel better about what you accomplish.

Check out the other great advice at Georgia Grown Kiddos!
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Sunday, July 19, 2015

Makeover! Made-over Product Giveaway!

So everybody can use a makeover sometimes, right? Honestly, if someone credible walked up to me and said, "Girl, you need a makeover," I'd say, "Yes, please. I don't know what else to do with all this." and then I'd let them be in charge.
That's probably not going to happen. 
So instead, I did a product makeover! I mean, someone should feel pretty, right?

I made over one of my dumpy old products. It was from my first year on TPT. 
It was sad.
So sad.

And now it's not! Now it's happy and shiny and new! 

It includes this adorable craftivity (which my kids loved)
If you already downloaded my Government Pack, please download it again for the nice, new version. 
I also made over my hideous Genre Study Book from four years ago. I'm so excited with the new design! 

If you've already purchased it, please download it again for the nice, new version!
And if you haven't bought it yet, here's your chance to get it for free! Just leave me a comment with the which product you'd rather win: the Genre Study Book or the Government Pack. I'll choose three winners over the weekend! Good luck! 
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