Few Words, Many Pictures

I'm a woman of few words today.
I know those of you who read my blog frequently me are doubting it, (I rarely have few words) but it's true. Lots is going on at school, but today, I'd like to keep it simple. Pictures.

This week we had a birthday and the birthday girl brought cake pops. Oh, my God. The most amazing cake pop I'ver ever had. And it was e-normous.

I'm trying to eat carefully, but I've had, like, four birthdays this week. Birthdays = cupcakes = I have to eat them.

Bought a new lamp :) It's a tripod, in honor of my photographer hunnybun.

This is what my mom wants for Mother's Day. Paula Dean's measuring cups. She saw them on TV.

I (being a good daughter) searched for them online. They cost over a hundred dollars. I don't think she knew that when she asked for them.

Guess who's not getting Paula Dean's measuring cups.

Guess who's gotta figure out something else for Mother's Day.

This is the giant median (really it's like a walking path/park) near my home. I like to walk my Lucy there. This is the pretty view the other evening on our walk.

One time I saw a guy walking a monkey there! 

A MONKEY! 

I think he's an army guy.

We have a base here.

This is the present I bought from me and my hunny for my future mama-in-law for Mother's Day. I also bought some flowers and I'm going to plant them up for her this weekend.

I'm gonna hang around blogville and check out what you awesome peeps are doing for Mother's Day. I think we're going to do puzzle piece picture frames with a magnet on the back.

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Sales & a BIG giveaway: Shop, Shop, Shop!

Just a reminder about the super sales & giveaways happening this weekend because Teachers Appreciate Other Teachers. I'm having a super sale at TPT:

They're having a muysuperwow sale, too, so can you imagine the dinero you'll save? 

2. I am also having a muysuperwow sale at Teacher's Notebook and they're having a Teacher Appreciation Sweepstakes! You should definitely check it out to win $100 worth of free Teacher's Notebook stuff!

3. AND, this stuff is for free!!

3-6 Free Resources is having an awesome Madyday giveaway! Check it out and win - not just a little, but a TON of terrific free stuff.

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Zoo Day! *Freebie & Giveaway

Today we went to the zoo.


Matt Damon wasn't there. I feel misled.
Or maybe he was. I wouldn't have noticed. Herding the animals I brought with me was WAY more work than watching the animals that were already there. I have a compulsive need to count my students every forty-five seconds when we're out on a field trip. I am terrified of losing one. Absolutely terrified. So I spent most of my time with my arm in the air, counting, and squinting against the sunlight. I did manage to take this pictures of the first animal we saw. After that, it was downhill. The kids were awesome, but I'm a paranoid nutter.

Our zoo used to be extremely depressing. The enclosures were tiny and sad. And the animals just kind of sat there and looked at you, like, "Well. Hello. Isn't this place horrible?"
I'm not super crazy about zoos. They bug me. I wouldn't appreciate being taken from my real house in my real neighborhood and put in a fake house in a fake neighborhood with walls around it. I do appreciate that some of the animals have been rescued from deadly situations, so I just try to think about that. So we went.
Our zoo has been completely updated. It's much nicer now. The elephants don't just stand there and sway anymore. They look alert. The zebras have room to wander a bit. It was fun.
Our babies had never been on a field trip. In the third grade, and never been on a field trip! When they were in kinder, there was a campus emergency and we were displaced from our school building for the whole year. The last two years, there was no money. So this year we were determined to take them somewhere.
There were a couple of high points. One was the elephant show. It was pretty cool. And the kids were so engaged in watching it, we (teachers) were actually able to eat lunch. The kids had already eaten.
But this was the best part (according to the kids)As we approached the lion enclosure, I saw an elderly couple sitting on the bench, watching the male lion. My students (and other students) crowded against the plexiglass, drooling over the lion. Suddenly, they started screaming. I (did I mention I'm paranoid?) assumed that a child was being smushed to death against the plexiglass by the other students, so I shoved toward the front of the mob. Guess what I saw?
An enormous lion, one leg straight in the air, licking himself. himself. As in the parts you don't lick in public. Or hopefully, in private, either.
I don't want to tell you how any different times I reworded that sentence. I tried all sorts of euphemisms before I settled on 'himself.' I think you get me.
Needless to say, the elderly couple got up and hobbled away in disgust. Not of the lion - of our kids who were freaking out about the lion. I chewed them out. But between you and me, it was a bit disconcerting. I mean, it's one thing when it's your dog or cat, but these...uh...family jewels were like 18 times the domestic size. Yowza. 
Grab the little book we used for free at TPT! Print it double-sided, and it's an eight-page minibook to keep kids engaged and focused at the zoo! Great kickoff for a life science unit.

Also, these are things you want to know.
1. I am having a muy superwow sale this weekend at TPT. 

They're having a muysuperwow sale, too, so can you imagine the dinero you'll save? 

2. I am also having a muysuperwow sale at Teacher's Notebook and they're having a Teacher Appreciation Sweepstakes! You should definitely check it out to win $100 worth of free Teacher's Notebook stuff!

3. AND, this stuff is for free!!

3-6 Free Resources is having an awesome Madyday giveaway! Check it out and win - not just a little, but a TON of terrific free stuff.

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Measurement Mania: Length *Song Freebie

You know how there are some things you just don't like to teach?

Oh, come on.Please don't tell me, "Oh, no! I LooooooVe to teach EVERYthing! There is not one single thing I don't just loooove!" Cause I don't believe it. Everybody must have something. I can't be the only one.
The thing I hate is measurement. 
I hate it all. Length, capacity, and mass and weight. I don't really know why I hate it. Maybe because it's always toward the end of our sequence, right at the time I'm already behind in math and I have to teach double time to fit in the tested standards. This year was a little different in third grade. There were fewer tested standards, so I felt like I had a little more time, but it's still not my favorite.
However, what all teachers know is you can't let them know you hate it.
If they know,they hate it, too.
And it's all over.
So what do we do?We fake it.
We walk in after lunching, singing, "I LOOOVE measurement! I LOOOVE it! Look, kids! See this stupid grin on my face?! Measure, measure, measure! Love, love, love! I looooovvvveeee it!"
And they're little, so they believe us.
One thing that helps me looove stuff I hate to teach is by teaching it in superfun ways. I love songs. Songs, to me, are superfun. I think they help my more struggling students (and my more able students as well) remember concepts that can be abstract and untouchable. 
So this is the song I used for length. You can grab it for free at TPT below. It's only great if you do the gestures. I included those on the second page. But I left off one important part.I told my students that the song would only help them remember landmark units of length if they shook their bottoms during the third and fourth lines of the song. This is, of course, ridiculous, but it sure helped me feel better about teaching length. So basically, this is how the song went, to the tune of Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes. The black words are the song verses, and the red words are the gestures.

Centimeter, Meter, Kilometer

Centimeter – hold up pinkie

Meter – spread arms apart

Kilometer – mimic driving with a steering wheel

Inch, Foot, Yard, and Mile, Mile, Mile.

Inch – hold up thumb

Foot – point to floor tile

Yard – point to ceiling tile, or three floor tiles

Mile – minic driving with a steering wheel

We use units to measure length.

Shake bottom shake bottom shake bottom

Metric and customary too, too, too!

Shake bottom shake bottom shake bottom

It worked for me.You can grab it at TPT.

Then we did our foldable. It's a shutter-fold. On the outside kids recorded the customary and metric units to measure length. 

Inside are the abbreviations and student-drawn pictures of landmarks to remember the approximate length of the different units.

I cleaned it up and made a nice template as part of my Length Activity Pack at TPT, and at Teacher's Notebook so grab that too!

So tell me the truth. What do you hate?
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The cherry on top of testing.

Let's draw conclusions. It's a good reading skill.
Here are your clues:

• I am almost done with a double sized bottle of white zinfandel. I opened it yesterday.
• I have watched 12 episodes of Law & Order SVU since Monday.
• One of the kids asked me today, "So, what happens if we fail this test?"

Conclusion: This week is state testing.

Today stunk. As I was driving into the parking lot - literally about to turn left into the parking lot, a police officer pulled up behind me on a motorcycle. He did his little siren thing and had me pull over - not into the parking lot, but across another lane of traffic in a school zone. So apparently that's not a big deal, but I'm pretty sure that in itself was ticket-worthy.

Anyway, I'm sitting there, completely puzzled as to why, and I can see my students and parents looking at me as they walk and drive to school. That's nice, right? Seeing your teacher pulled over the morning of your state assessment?

The police officer came around and said, "Do you realize your inspection is expired?"

Actually, no I didn't. So I said, in a surprised and honest tone, "Oh my gosh, I didn't realize that!"

He said, "Don't you ever look at it?"

I said, "Uh, it's been a little stressful lately," and started to cry. To cry, people, in front of my school, being pulled over, while my students watched me with pity in their little nine year old eyes. 

But there was no pity in his forty year old eyes.

He said, "It's almost May." 

Oh my God, people. It's almost May! Do you know when that sticker expired? March! So it's been 25 days! Twent-y-five-days!! The horror! Don't look at me! I'm hideous!

Wait- it gets better.

He said, "And don't blame this on your husband."

What.the.heck. I am censoring. That was not my thought at the time. Is this 1950? Are we ok with making snotty gender remarks while being obnoxiously ridiculous about the date on my inspection sticker? I mean, I am usually good about getting my sticker. I am well aware of the 5-day grace period, and try to get it done on time. This time, I was in the middle of a crying jag and working Saturday School because my kids are struggling so much. So, yeah, it slipped my mind. Figures.

I had to go down the street and make a u-turn and sit through the school zone again to get back to the parking lot entrance. And then I had to walk down the hallway, ashamed and late, and apologize to my AP. She was upset for me, too. So were my kids. They were horrified. Madie was outraged. It made me feel a little bit better.

 Anyway, this lovely gentleman gave me a ticket. Yes, a ticket. Not a warning.

The crossing guard told me the officer went back and forth down the street for a while. He gave out five tickets for stickers. Glad to know that was the best use of his time. I feel safer already.

I need to stop talking about this, because it's about to get ugly.

Do you know how warnings work, because I've never gotten one. It's all or nothing, I guess.
How was your testing?

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A last ditch effort to prepare for the test...

...Gone bad.



Tomorrow is the Test.
Waaaaah I hate the test. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it. It doesn't help that during the training on how to administer the test, all directives are punctuated with "or you can lose your license."
Such as...Cover everything on the walls, or you can lose your license.Read the directions verbatim, with no additions or substitutions, or you can lose your license.Record the time each child finishes The Test, or you can lose your license.For any unauthorized question, repeat, "I can't help you with that. Just do the best you can," or you can lose your license.Walk around the classroom constantly during the day, actively monitoring, or you can lose your license.Pick up all tests at 1:00, regardless of whether the student is finished or not, or you can lose your license.
Gee, I wonder why I'm having anxiety about it.
Then, our principal came in at the end of the day today and told the kids, "Don't worry! It'll be easy. The work Ms. Beltran gives you is WAAAY harder."
Great. Now they think it's easy. And it's not. 
Math is tomorrow and Reading is Wednesday. Reading will be worse.
We spent the day doing various review activities. I will post about one of these activities on Misty's blog, Think, Wonder, & Teach, on Thursday. But I will share this one.
We were reviewing a reading passage the kids had done last week. Just to be difficult, they had done well on the really hard questions and missed the easy ones. Why? Cause they think they know the answers to the easy ones without going back to find evidence. And they don't. (Thanks, principal.)
Anyway, we were reviewing a question that said, "What happened after the buzzer sounded?" A lot of the kids had put "The main character scored a basket." What was their evidence? This line from the text: "As the buzzer sounded, the ball swished through the hoop."
Hmph.
This resulted in a long conversation about what "as" means. Not that we haven't had this conversation before, mind you. I decided to model something memorable. 
"As I pat my head," I declared, patting my head, "I rub my tummy. It means they're happening at the same time." I rubbed my tummy as I patted my head. They were pretty impressed. Needless to say, this turned into class-wide attempt to rub our tummies while patting our heads. About five of us were really good at it. Mostly kids were patting heads and tummies or rubbing tummies and heads. Some kids were patting heads and tummies while excitedly exclaiming, "I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" Nope.
After that, I couldn't help myself. I told them to lick their elbows. 
And then I told them to bite their own ears.
And then I sent them out to PE (thank God because they were W-I-L-D.)
Pray for us.
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