I'm on time with this one. Must be summertime!
Arya & THE WAIF!
This episode made me soooo anxious. I basically spent this entire episode thinking that every person on screen was the Waif. The actress gives Arya milk of the poppy. It's the Waif! Arya goes to sleep. She's the Waif! A guy shows up at Lady Crane's door. It's the Waif! AND IT WAS THE WAIF! So Lady Crane's dead - that's too bad - and Arya is running for her life.
She is surprisingly agile, given her stomach that must look like swiss cheese...or like Jon Snow's stomach... and she dashes through the entire city. The Waif follows her with a Terminator-like glare. (I promise I came up with that on my own, before I read that everyone and their Grandma also came up with the same comparison.) Arya drags her hole-punched body into a dark corner of the city and pulls Needle out from under a blanket. The Waif thinks it's curtains for Arya, until Arya slashes out the little candle and uses her Daredevil powers, acquired early on in this season, to de-face the Waif and stick her on the Hall of Faces. Woohoo!
And then Jaqen thinks she's No One but she's not. She's Arya Stark of House Winterfell! YEAH! And then she decides to go home. Good for her. Even Jaq'en has to give her a little nod of props.
Cersei & Tommen
THE MOUNTAIN RIPPED SOMEBODY'S HEAD OFF! And Cersei was like, "Yup. I told you so."
Does she only have the one gown now? I think she's been wearing the same thing for this whole season! I guess the High Septon stripped her of all fashion sense. And then Tommen says, "No trial by combat!" and Cersie gives him a dirty look of disappointment, one only a mother could give, and Tommen avoids eye contact all the way out of the hall. Not looking at mom. Not looking at mom.
Tyrion & Co.
So Tyrion, Messandei, and Grayworm are all hanging out and Tyrion is peer-pressuring them into drinking. They actually loosen up for about two seconds and of course all sorts of trouble breaks loose in Meereen. The slavers are back and they want their slaves! So Messandei and Grayworm undoubtedly learn that fun=bad and they are never to let their guard down again.
And then Danaeris pops up to...save the day? With her billions of Dothraki, I guess?
Can I just say that I really like Tyrion's beard?
The Hound & the Brotherhood
Seriously, the Hound is totally cracking me up! I love his delivery! It's like now that he's accepted his life, he's a happier Hound...sort of... and he's just lighter. I love every scene with him in it, and I really do hope that the predicted Clegane Bowl will happen, despite the obvious hurdle of the no trial by combat thing. Thanks a lot, Tommen. I was all ready for the Hound to bash the Mountain.
This made me a little sad:
Brienne & Jaime
Brienne sees Jaime in the distance, gallantly astride his horse. Why does she tell Jaime everything? She's so idealistic sometimes. When she says, "Honor compels me to fight for Sansa's kin. To fight you," you can see Jaime gulp. He knows he couldn't take Brienne on his best day. Brienne tries not to cry and then she runs off.
Jaime gives Edmure a speech about how terrible he (Jaime) is and how he'll stop at nothing to get back to Cersei. Once he takes back the castle, he sees Brienne paddling down the river to leave Riverrun. Everybody gets all choked up and he waves to her and she waves back to say, "Yes, dude, we're still friends."
So you know that's gonna get ugly.
I'm really stressing about Brienne v. Jaime. It's gonna rip everyone's heartstrings. Let's face it: there are two outcomes. Brienne kills Jaime, because it's the "honorable" thing to do and lives with the knowledge she killed her friend for the rest of her life. Or Jaime kills Brienne, because Cersei makes him, and is completely embittered. Either way, dark days are coming for these two.
To celebrate the Rains of Castamere playing ominously as Jaime led his men into Riverrun, here is a meme.