Sunday, July 26, 2015

My Eyes Are Broken

Apparently, my left eye is broken. 
I went to the eye doctor yesterday because my prescription has been off since I got it three weeks ago. I close my left eye and my right one seems ok, but when I close my right eye, my left eye is all blurry. I look like a little old woman, because I keep tilting my head back to see through the bottom of my lenses...but I don't have bifocals. I'm not sure exactly what's going on, but clearly (pun intended) something had to change.
I'm pretty used to having eye issues. I've had glasses since I was in the fourth grade and I couldn't read the board (sound familiar to you lifelong nearsighted people?) This was the eighties, so my glasses were big. My brothers used to lick their fingers and stick them on my glasses. This, by the way, is super gross. Don't do it.
When I go in for an eye appointment, I dread it the whole time because I'm pretty sure I'm going to mess it up. That will only make sense to you if you stress out over this like I do. But I went in for a follow-up anyway because glasses aren't cheap, and I'd really like to be able to see through them. This is how it went:
He said, "So what's the trouble with your new prescription?"
I said, "My left eye vision is blurry, and I feel like I have to look through the bottom half of my lenses to see clearly."
He said, "Oh, I hear that a lot from people with strong prescriptions. There's not much we can do about it."
Sheesh, am I paying for this service?
As soon as I sit down behind those creepy lens-changer thingies, I immediately feel like I'm in a staring contest. I blink and blink, and my eyes water. Then they're completely dry. He clicks through the lenses - one better? or two? Three or four better? - and I totally stress out and blink compulsively, trying to keep up. Please tell me this happens to you. It would make me feel better.
He told me to read the lowest line I could with my right eye. I read the fourth line (there were five)
Then he told me to read the lowest line I could with my left eye. I read the second line. Ummm, that's a problem, right?
He went through the whole mess - one or two? seven or eight? - and I freaked out the whole time. I couldn't trust my own judgment! I already messed this up once! My stress levels shot through the roof and I spent the whole time blinking.
Finally, at the end of all of that, he said, "Well, it looks like your right eye can just read more letters than your left eye, no matter what." 
Ummmm.....Yeah. That's why I'm here. "Isn't that why we need  prescriptions? Because eyes see differently?" I asked, being brave, but sounding incredibly stupid. He didn't answer.
"Well," I tried again," Isn't there some prescription that will help my left eye see as well as my right? Or did I run out of prescriptions?" I laughed, hoping that wasn't possible.
He looked at me and said, "Don't you write better with one hand than the other?"
I wanted to say, "Do you make prescriptions for handwriting?" but I didn't. I just said, "I mean, with the prescription. Shouldn't my left eye be able to see well with the prescription?" 
And then he said - and here it is - "I can't answer that question. I'm not exactly sure what the question is."
What? I'm sorry, did you just say that you can't tell me what's wrong with my eyes? Isn't that kind of your job? Teachers, did you know you could do that? You can say, "Yeah, I don't know what that question means, so...you know, I'm just not going to answer it. Peace out."Wow, that's going to save me a lot of time!
So apparently, my left eye is broken, unfixable, and nothing anyone can do will fix it. My friend suggested that I put on a black eyepatch and just call it a day. Fortunately, I found a site that sells designer eye patches, so...there's that.
Oh, and can anyone recommend a new optometrist? 
At least I like my new frames. 
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3 comments:

  1. Oh, good grief. What a jerk. I hope you find a good optometrist. I love mine - I've been seeing him for over 40 years. I'm afraid he'll retire before I die. If you want to travel to San Antonio, I'll introduce you!

    Krazy Town

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  2. I have the same anxieties during my eye exams, and I've also had glasses since elementary school, so I know the struggle. So glad I'm not the only one! Also, picking out frames. It is such a commitment! I try to explain it to my boyfriend like, imagine you had to pick on ONE shirt that you have to wear EVERYDAY! Talk about pressure!

    Meg
    Third Grade in the First State

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  3. That sounds like a stressful experience; hopefully, you'll find an optometrist that can help you more readily in future! I've been wearing glasses for 10 years and agree with the sentiment over choosing frames. My wife helps me somewhat, as I have absolutely no fashion sense when it comes to which glasses suit me! Luckily, she makes all the decisions.

    Barton Levesque @ Glenmore Vision Center

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