Monday, April 23, 2012

A last ditch effort to prepare for the test...

...Gone bad.



Tomorrow is the Test.

Waaaaah I hate the test. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it. It doesn't help that during the training on how to administer the test, all directives are punctuated with "or you can lose your license."

Such as...
Cover everything on the walls, or you can lose your license.
Read the directions verbatim, with no additions or substitutions, or you can lose your license.
Record the time each child finishes The Test, or you can lose your license.
For any unauthorized question, repeat, "I can't help you with that. Just do the best you can," or you can lose your license.
Walk around the classroom constantly during the day, actively monitoring, or you can lose your license.
Pick up all tests at 1:00, regardless of whether the student is finished or not, or you can lose your license.

Gee, I wonder why I'm having anxiety about it.

Then, our principal came in at the end of the day today and told the kids, "Don't worry! It'll be easy. The work Ms. Beltran gives you is WAAAY harder."

Great. Now they think it's easy. And it's not. 

Math is tomorrow and Reading is Wednesday. Reading will be worse.

We spent the day doing various review activities. I will post about one of these activities on Misty's blog, Think, Wonder, & Teach, on Thursday. But I will share this one.

We were reviewing a reading passage the kids had done last week. Just to be difficult, they had done well on the really hard questions and missed the easy ones. Why? Cause they think they know the answers to the easy ones without going back to find evidence. And they don't. (Thanks, principal.)

Anyway, we were reviewing a question that said, "What happened after the buzzer sounded?" A lot of the kids had put "The main character scored a basket." What was their evidence? This line from the text: "As the buzzer sounded, the ball swished through the hoop."

Hmph.

This resulted in a long conversation about what "as" means. Not that we haven't had this conversation before, mind you. I decided to model something memorable. 

"As I pat my head," I declared, patting my head, "I rub my tummy. It means they're happening at the same time." I rubbed my tummy as I patted my head. They were pretty impressed. Needless to say, this turned into class-wide attempt to rub our tummies while patting our heads. About five of us were really good at it. Mostly kids were patting heads and tummies or rubbing tummies and heads. Some kids were patting heads and tummies while excitedly exclaiming, "I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" 
Nope.

After that, I couldn't help myself. I told them to lick their elbows. 

And then I told them to bite their own ears.

And then I sent them out to PE (thank God because they were W-I-L-D.)

Pray for us.

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8 comments:

  1. Hahaha, I am totally guilty of sending my class to special when they are all hyped about something. Oops!

    Good luck on your tests!

    Meg
    Third Grade in the First State

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  2. HILARIOUS!!!!!! Thank you...I needed that:) Praying for you and your kiddos during T.H.E. T.E.S.T.

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  3. Too funny!!!! Good luck this week!

    Krista
    stellar-students

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  4. Good luck to you and your kiddos this week!

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  5. I about spit out my Diet Coke when I read..."I cannot help you. Just do the best you can." That is burned in my brain!!! Ugh!! I'm totally right there with you!! And, I know this sounds terrible, but I'm glad to hear your students were WILD...because, misery loves company and today I almost cried over the "wildness" that was my classroom. I know people mean well and want to destress the kids...but don't say "it's easy"!!! 'Cause then they finish in 45 minutes. I'm just sayin'...

    Good luck tomorrow and Wednesday! Remember, there is at least one other blogger out there who is feeling it too!!

    Tammy
    Confessions of a Fourth Grade Teacher

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  6. Yikes, talk about stress....hope "the test" goes well!!!!

    Holly
    Crisscross Applesauce in First Grade

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  7. Oh how I needed a good laugh! I know exactly how you feel. You are a good teacher and your kiddos will be just fine. Keep your chin up it's almost over...for this year. :)
    Isn't it exciting that it all starts again soon?

    Des @When I Grow Up
    whatiwanttobe31.blogspot.com

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