Here are your clues:
- I am almost done with a double sized bottle of white zinfandel. I opened it yesterday.
- I have watched 12 episodes of Law & Order SVU since Monday.
- One of the kids asked me today, "So, what happens if we fail this test?"
Conclusion: This week is state testing.
Today stunk. As I was driving into the parking lot - literally about to turn left into the parking lot, a police officer pulled up behind me on a motorcycle. He did his little siren thing and had me pull over - not into the parking lot, but across another lane of traffic in a school zone. So apparently that's not a big deal, but I'm pretty sure that in itself was ticket-worthy.
Anyway, I'm sitting there, completely puzzled as to why, and I can see my students and parents looking at me as they walk and drive to school. That's nice, right? Seeing your teacher pulled over the morning of your state assessment?
The police officer came around and said, "Do you realize your inspection is expired?"
Actually, no I didn't. So I said, in a surprised and honest tone, "Oh my gosh, I didn't realize that!"
He said, "Don't you ever look at it?"
I said, "Uh, it's been a little stressful lately," and started to cry. To cry, people, in front of my school, being pulled over, while my students watched me with pity in their little nine year old eyes.
But there was no pity in his forty year old eyes.
He said, "It's almost May."
Oh my God, people. It's almost May! Do you know when that sticker expired? March! So it's been 25 days! Twent-y-five-days!! The horror! Don't look at me! I'm hideous!
Wait- it gets better.
He said, "And don't blame this on your husband."
What.the.heck. I am censoring. That was not my thought at the time. Is this 1950? Are we ok with making snotty gender remarks while being obnoxiously ridiculous about the date on my inspection sticker? I mean, I am usually good about getting my sticker. I am well aware of the 5-day grace period, and try to get it done on time. This time, I was in the middle of a crying jag and working Saturday School because my kids are struggling so much. So, yeah, it slipped my mind. Figures.
I had to go down the street and make a u-turn and sit through the school zone again to get back to the parking lot entrance. And then I had to walk down the hallway, ashamed and late, and apologize to my AP. She was upset for me, too. So were my kids. They were horrified. Madie was outraged. It made me feel a little bit better.
Anyway, this lovely gentleman gave me a ticket. Yes, a ticket. Not a warning.
The crossing guard told me the officer went back and forth down the street for a while. He gave out five tickets for stickers. Glad to know that was the best use of his time. I feel safer already.
I need to stop talking about this, because it's about to get ugly.
Do you know how warnings work, because I've never gotten one. It's all or nothing, I guess.
How was your testing?